No, Chef!
I'm here to translate what the f*ck is happening on the internet. This week, we're talking about a missing chef and why you maybe shouldn't ghost your wife.
Hello friends! Thank you to everyone who subscribed, liked, commented, and sent in some thoughtful feedback. Here’s what people are saying:
“I actually really love it it’s so comprehensive and yet snackable at the same time” - Shira
“I want some of that magical coffee” - my Mom, who absolutely did not watch the linked video
“I wanted to be able to talk shit but I can’t…I even laughed a couple times” - John
For those of you who are new here, hi, I’m Willa. I’ve spent the last decade building consumer brands and overthinking. One of my hyper-fixations is the Venn Diagram of the physical, analog world and our collective digital, online reality.
Each time I pop up in your inbox, it’s to alert you to something happening on the internet that I think you should know about. Today, we are covering a story so new and niche it hasn’t been covered by any news sources, so you’ll be the cool kid at the water cooler tomorrow morning.
Let’s Break it Down: The Case of the Missing Chef
A couple of days ago, Ashley McGuire took to Facebook to ask for help finding her missing husband. In the post, she alleges* that last year, her husband, Charles Withers, “ghosted” her and their two children. Ghosting is a frequent topic of internet discourse; the ethics and impact are often debated.
📙 Vocab Term: “Ghosting” Coined by millennials (see! we come up with things!) and added to Merriam-Webster in 2017, ghosting describes the phenomenon of abruptly ending all contact with another person, usually someone who is a potential or former romantic partner. Once you’ve moved on and accepted this person doesn’t want to be in your life, they may pop back in (often with a sh*t excuse for their absence). This is what we call zombie-ing. 🧟
🕵️ This is a case for the FBI Facebook
When Ashley posted in a Facebook group asking for help locating her husband so she could finalize their divorce, I was struck by her use of the term “ghosting” because it somehow seemed too casual for the situation.
Everyone has a story of being ghosted (last year, I was ghosted in Dublin on Valentine’s Day 🙂) but what makes Ashley’s ghosting story particularly heinous is the fact that she was ghosted by someone she is (!!!) married to when she was pregnant (!!!) with their second (!!!) child.
Within 24 hours, Ashley’s Facebook post had spread to TikTok, which has become remarkably good at finding men who have cheated, lied, or ghosted. But even I did not expect the women of TikTok to locate this man so quickly. Screenshots of his dating profile on Bumble (a popular alternative to Tinder) were quickly unearthed and shared by women in the Dallas-Fort Worth area.
According to the Boston Globe, Chef Charlie used to own a restaurant called C Salt in Boston. Commenters on TikTok alleged that Charlie also ghosted his employees and business, abruptly shuttering the restaurant and leaving many without pay.
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🎤 Chef Charlie’s latest crime: Karaoke
Early this evening, one TikTok user claimed she saw the missing chef at a bar in Dallas performing karaoke. The craziest part is she has video of him singing “You Never Even Call Me By My Name” last night, which is an absolutely bonkers choice for a British dude who allegedly abandoned his wife and babies just to be single in Texas. To be clear: no one has confirmed this video is of Ashley McGuire’s estranged husband, but the fact the internet unearthed his dating profile and video of him from this weekend so quickly makes me reconsider the effectiveness of the FBI.
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🤔 Ok…so what?
A recurring theme in these newsletters is the profound influence of our actions on The Internet. This weekend, strangers turned into digital sleuths to help a woman find the husband who wronged her. It's a testament to the collective empathy spurred by shared experiences, like the searing sting of being ghosted.
But let’s take this a step further and think through the impacts of this viral content. Best case scenario, everything Ashley has said is true and she is able to finally have resolution after being ghosted by her husband. In the worst-case scenario, numerous individuals may have infringed upon privacy rights and propagated harmful falsehoods about a man whose identity is now plastered across the web alongside the hashtag #findcharleswithers. [While I’m inclined to believe Ashley, I say “alleged” a LOT in this story because none of this has been confirmed and I don’t want to get sued. Don’t sue me, I don’t have any money and I’m just a baby.]
We collectively skipped the due process afforded by the legal system (for some, anyway) and sent Chef Charlie straight to internet jail. Just knowing that this can happen might make you reconsider what you share on the internet…and maybe if you ghost or grow up and send that break up text.
🏆 Creator of the Week
Heather Hurst (@pigmami) may not have a million followers (yet), but she is quickly becoming a cool-girl favorite. Her approach to dressing and personal style is refreshingly nuanced in this golden age of fast-fashion. She shares her thought process around purchasing items for her wardrobe in a relaxing, almost academic manner, touting the merits of slow consumption, shopping secondhand, and developing a unique style. In addition to creating content on TikTok and Instagram, Heather also flexes her writing skills on her delightfully crafted Substack.
✨ Sprinkle, Sprinkle
Drop some of these into a conversation to signal that you’re in on the internet trends.
Neutrogena is getting called out for ruining this lovely man’s day. If you didn’t catch the reference to Kris Jenner’s iconic quote in today’s newsletter, this is your homework. YOU CAN BUY SYNTHETIC OPIOIDS AT THE GAS STATION?! Mewing is out, upper lip pouts are in. Cardio drumming “workout class” is a thing that 12.4M people watched on TikTok. A medical spa employee violated HIPAA just to call someone a big beefy fat hoe. I can’t describe this video but you do need to see it. Just an idea for anyone else in their martini era. I’m a Pookie moon and Jett rising. And if you can’t find me this summer, look up.
Thank you for reading this special Sunday Edition of Break the Internet. I am only accepting positive feedback at this time, so if you have something nice to say, smash that reply button. And if you’re feeling vulnerable, leave a comment with your worst ghosting story.
Keep scrolling,
Willa
queen this was a fanTASTic post loved it, love you
This is so lovely, thank you so much!